It's lyrics from this song (Did I tell you Panic! At The Disco is awesome?)

Spazz over tis song 

Ehehe~ Started to be slightly emo this week. Probably "it's" here again. Sigh. IF PANIC! AT THE DISCO IS COMING, WE'RE GOING TO THEIR CONCERT TO SEE THEM!!! (Heard their Mosh Pits/fans are brutal e.o)

Had a weird convo with duck last night. It was a bit painful at the beginning but soon it smoothen out cause I managed to say a magic phrase/request~ "Should we work towards a common goal?"

JiaHui, that's what my answer to your problems is. And to mine. But still I haven't answered his question... which I absolutely don't remember/understand. I don't bother thinking as deeply (even JiaHui does that better than me, heck, and she had good advice). I have more of a superficial happiness. I just get happy when things around me go well. When they don't, f*ck it then. That's my mistake.

Duck, when you say "both of us are mature, maybe too much ... the way we are mature is different", I agree.
It's just that I don't use that "maturity" often. Perhaps because it will change who I am. I was a happier person, until *ssh*l*s started appearing.

I would prefer not to "understand things most people dont". It was one of the other mistake.

So, my answer to your chunk of questions is this:
I'm a failure, a weakling, perhaps very retarded and idiotic. I make a constant fool of myself. I can hardly do anything right. I suck at many things. I don't read situations well.
I'm unworthy of my position. Because when I swim in the deep blue ocean, I tend to float up to the surface, where the sunlight brilliantly bedazzles me, and very soon, blinds me. I do things blindly. And when I start sinking down to the abyss, I panic. Fear and regret engulfs me. I fear about how far I'm from the surface and yearn to go up. Yet the dark depresses me to sink further, until something pulls me up to the surface, where the vicious cycle will return.
I always hurt people, but yet I thought I try not to. When I get upset, I feel terrible with sort of depressive-nearing suicidal thoughts. If I try to express myself a surge of terribly negative feeling tries to force out of my throat, choking me back. Yet, you were wise enough to hold it back. I can't. It'll be too painful for me to suppress every single feeling. Yes, I'm selfish this way. I think of myself more than others. I stubbornly insist that people try to understand me, when they absolutely don't/can't.
Why? It's because I'm extremely flawed. I'm that every negative aspect that I don't want others to be. Hypocrite? I am one, yet I hate them.
This is my answer. Does it answer yours?

Perhaps I will continue with other topics later. Need to empty out the feelings...